You know what puffles my jigglies?

KUAIIZFv634A.pngPicture credit: http://hun-forever-han.tumblr.com

Back in October 2015, I wrote rather a long list of things that were really winding me up and making me rather quite cross but, recently, a number of things have been grinding my gears so I thought I’d list them here and elaborate a bit further. Another sort-of Room 101 post, if you will.

Here goes…

001: Kids (and their parents) with no manners.

I encountered this with a group of rowdy little rascals a few days ago. If you’re going to come into my shop and enter my department (mainly books, but the kids’ section is there too), please don’t scream, shout, carry on and tell me to ‘get that off the shelf for me NOW’ whilst I’m putting books out. What happened to please and thank you? It’s called having some manners. Please use them otherwise, next time, I’ll just ignore you. Also, if I ask your children nicely to stop squeaking a horn on a bike because it’s going right down my lughole, then please stop them doing it. Don’t just let them carry on. I’ve already asked them to stop it. Also, behind the till is for staff only. Next time your little darlings (and I use that term VERY LOOSELY) come behind there to join me, I’ll lift them up over the counter to teach them a lesson or two in basic manners. Thank you.

002: Theresa May.

Maggie Thatcher, mark 2. I didn’t vote for her in our recent election and now most of her so-called ‘supporters’ have had enough and defected to support Labour. And rightly so. She has absolutely no clue and the rest of the UK have no hope.

003: The glorious British weather.

It’s July and it’s pissing it down. Need I say more?

004: Instaspam.

Now, like most people, I love Instagram. It’s a way of showing off those little square photos to the rest of the world about the ins and outs of your everyday life but, as with everything these days, there’s one downside: SPAM. An almost-everyday occurrence is me going through my notifications and likes to find that, whilst most of the people who have liked my recent photos or followed me are legit, some are fake users who have hijacked the photo (or one or two of the hashtags I’ve used for said photo) and liked/followed me knowing full well we don’t have anything in common. And it’s driving me crackers! I had to put one of my IG accounts on private a few months back after a fake user liked a photo of my niece (seriously, WHY?!) but I took it off private only for them to do it again to another one of my photos, and I’ve recently been getting estate agents following me (again, WHY?!) on both my IG accounts. I’ve lost count just how many fake users/pornbots/spammers I’ve reported and blocked recently. How about you just clear off before I lose my rag? Thank you.

005: Twitterbots.

For pretty much the same reason as above. Too many pornbots with their arses out have been liking my recent posts to the point where a) I’ve blocked/reported them and b) I’ve temporarily taken down the pinned post I had up (it was the screengrab from The Last Leg that I used here too). I don’t want to have to put both my Twitter accounts on private (my other one’s been private for the best part of seven years to mainly keep out a few idiots and it keeps the spam away as well) but, if it carries on, I might have to as a temporary measure. It may be the only way of keeping the spammers at bay.

006: Nuisance callers.

I’ve touched up on this many times before on this blog but they still annoy me so I’m still mentioning them. Sky have recently introduced a call-blocking system for people who use their landline company, which only lets certain people through once you let them but, as I’m with O2 on my mobile, I still get inundated with numerous unknown numbers from various cities (which a) are nowhere near Leeds and b) I don’t know anyone from there) ringing me (seriously, other than 0843 numbers, which I’ve blocked, I’ve been rung from London, Birmingham, Warrington, Manchester (after some twat woke me up at half past bloody one in the pissing morning and woke me up – wanker!), Tyneside, Maidenhead, Uxbridge and, weirdly, Swansea). Unless you’re ringing me from a Leeds number, or one that’s private, I won’t answer your call. Also, if you’re going to charge me for answering your stupid call in the first place, I’m not going to waste my time or money. That’s just taking the piss.

007: Cyclists who STILL don’t know how the road works.

Again, I’ve mentioned these before, but there are still the odd ones who have nearly sent me flying whilst crossing the road recently, so I’m mentioning them again. Stop going through red lights whilst the green man’s on, you shitlarks! Did you never learn the Green Cross Code in school? Arseholes!

008: The price of sending mail.

Ten quid to send three cups and a newspaper through the mail? Daylight robbery!

009: Fidget spinners.

These bastard things are EVERYWHERE. They were initially invented for people with ADHD and autism to help them concentrate… but they went mainstream and now every person and their dogs have them. There are even ones out there that have Bluetooth speakers on them (why?) which require a charge to use them (double why?) – and, much like those stupid ‘hoverboard’ whatsits before them, they’re catching fire. Then there was the time I witnessed a kid having the world’s biggest paddy over one just because his big brother had taken it off him to show him how to spin it. (For the record, this kid can’t have been any older than three. You have to be at least five to have/use one because of the ball-bearings and other metallic bits inside them.) What exactly is the point of them? Really?

(NB: I have one of these things, though my little ‘fidget gadget’ is for playing with on a night whilst I’m reading a book or watching a film in bed to keep my mind occupied on whatever I’m doing instead of craving a midnight snack whilst I’m on a diet and trying to lose weight. It seems to be working so far. I am looking to upgrade to a cube at some point. They seem WAY better than these stupid little things.)

010: EDL/UKIP/BNP sympathisers.

If you’re going to troll me (or my followers) on Twitter spewing abuse because we don’t support your stupid views or, like most sane people, we don’t vote for your stupid little parties, I’m just going to ignore you. Instead, you’ll find a nice big block (and report) by your name. How about you go and do something productive with your life? Thank you.

011: My phone.

Note to mobile phones: when I plug a charger into you, you’re supposed to charge. The charging unit on mine has gone tits up (meaning it’s discharging the pissing thing and going downwords instead of going upwards like on normal mobile phones) and, for the second time in seven months, I’ve taken it in for repair, despite me taking it in for the same reason last month. (NB: I’m about to go and pick it up – my tracker says it’s been repaired again.) Do me a favour, people. NEVER invest in a Samsung Galaxy A3. A lot of people with the same phone have been having problems too (I did my research the first time my phone cocked up). They’ll only make your life a misery.

And that’s about it. I WILL try and blog more often. I’m slacking again.

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